Don't hurt your eyes

Click on the image to make it work.

You can make a wallet out of duct tape.

I was reading The Cruise by Jim Anchower in The Onion. Here's the link to find more hilarious fake news and opinion. Onion The link won't publish so find it on your own. Fuck computers. OK, I got it to work but I don't feel like re-writing. The article states that a wallet can be made from duct tape. Having the motivational level of a welfare recipient, it surprised me that I was compelled to put the theory to the test. So I did. After wasting only about 2 feet of tape, here is the majestic result. Also, I showed my neighbor and he thinks it's a trendsetter. I can't wait to see the reaction when I pull it out to show my ID at a night club.

Hey, it's hot outside!

Guess what?

It is August and it is hot. You would think this isn't news, because it is a self evident occurrence. It takes no skill at all to recognize that it is hot or cold. That is why God gave us senses. It is why muskrats that live by the river are swimming in the river. Yet, for some reason, every newscast from Portland, Maine to Portland, Oregon feels obliged to make this a story. The epitome of lazy journalism.

Mostly the news just points out all of the different ways people can die. If you die of heatstroke, you weren't that well off anyways. Does anyone watch the news to hear about the heat they went through all day? Can't anyone do the weather by now? I think so.

Many other bloggers write about this also. Why? Are they lying around the house trying to think of something to write about? Have all issues been resolved because it's too hot and no one is being controversial because of the heat? Email your friends your opinion of global warming, that will get the controversy swirling all over again.

Do you know in the spell check for this blog, bloggers isn't in there?

How do you top off stupid pants? With stupid hats.

People will always have numerous inexplicable behaviors. They seem odd to me, but if anything catches on and stays around, sooner or later it will be glorified. Sometime in the last century, or possibly sooner, black women found it necessary to wear ridiculous hats to church. I don't exactly know when this started. I have done only enough research to find photographic evidence of this phenomenon. SO correct me if you must. Since you are someone other than I, I probably won't listen. I found out one other thing, they are called crowns sometimes. Cause someone made a whole book devoted to them. So enjoy your hats ladies, cause I won't.

Feel Like Wearing Stupid Pants!

On our latest Seano and Jefe, we discuss fashions that should never come back. One of those we call stupid pants. An on line website that sells them says they are the C500 Crazee Wear Baggy Workout Gym Pant. I'll call a spade a spade and describe stupid as stupid. If you still have these in your closet, burn them. Or send them to Seano and I for our first video. It will be up on Myspace. So stay tuned.

Another One Bites the Dust

Another job has come and gone. After six weeks of employment, I have parted ways with the Sticky Wicket. Yes, I ran out of excuses to stay. Great bunch of people over there, just not enough of them. Too much time to stand. Too much time for feet to blister. Too much time to talk. Not too much money for doing those things. Plus, I need to keep busy. So I quit.
What's next? Who knows? I sure as hell don't. Someone please tell me. You're right. Only I can do that.
I know, I will spend some time talking to people who make poorly written Impeach Bush signs and see how soon I get them to insult me.

LET"S GET HYPHY

I was going to Oakland with a friend today to see a baseball game. Actually the Tigers vs. The A's. I thought I would go to SF after and do a podcast. I assumed we would do the show the same day this week as last. It is my day off and I drive to SF every week to do the show. Seano didn't call me back Tuesday night and sent this email Wednesday morning.

Jefe, I can't do a show today. We have dinner plans with Pamela's friends after work. What day would work for you this week? Let me know, Seano

On 7/5/06, Jeff gribben wrote:
How about not scheduling dinner on Wednesday? You know that I put myself out to come to San Francisco. It isn't easy and it is getting more expensive.

Here's Seano's Email to me.
Let's hear your reactions.

Then don't do it......You took a new job when you got back from Zurich, you had a new schedule...I asked you what days you had available...You said tues, wed. sat night and sunday.
If your schedule changed, you never told me. This is why I asked if you had another day available in my email this morning..... if you want to skype the shows...thats fine....but be prepared.... spend an hour or two less watching fox news and write something, Never once in 46 shows have you emailed me several days before the show with an idea.
This scrambling for bits on Tuesdays is getting old. You have 150% more time than I do. Find a subject and run it by me, pick up my slack why don't ya? They cannot all be home runs. I spend an average of three-four hours a week preparing. I log ideas. I toss ideas. They don't all work. I cannot come to Sac during the week. period. I very rarely can make it on the weekends, you drive a shitload of miles ... So maybe skype is the answer for awhile.
You have no mics, or mixers nor do you have an FTP access to Anthony. It is what it is. The fact that Pamela made dinner plans is not my fault...If you have a problem run it by her. Sometimes things come up Jeff.....And learn to accept criticism without sounding so bitter and I will do the same.
Its a sarcastic show and if I just happen to graze one of your boundaries (religion, politics, even work) you always go ballistic on the air. Its called self deprecation...Its not hurtful. And one last thing...Please do not criticize a bit while it is being recorded.Its not fair to sabotage me while I'm reading a list, do it beforehand. Lets talk about it before the show...days, not hours...Use email more
Seano

Thank you.
I have more time to watch Fox News, now that I don't need to think of a blog this week.
Jefe

The Hong Kong Phooey Page

Here's a link to that show's intro theme song. I hope it brings back memories of childhood innocence and gullability.
http://www.melaman2.com/cartoons/singles/hong.html

People That I Don't Look Like.

One problem with other people is that they are always telling you that you look like this or that person. I don't believe I look much like anyone except my father or my brother. Those guys aren't famous. I forgot to wear black when I posed for this picture. Anyway,


here are some pictures of me and some chumps who aren't nearly as good looking as I am. These guys may have some things I don't, like houses, careers and wacky religious beliefs, but I have a love of commas and vast resevoirs of untapped potential. You be the judge of who is best of this bunch. I have heard enough on the subject. Ladies, if you think I resemble these media darlings, put out or shut up. Fellas, if you think I look like these pinkos, take two steps back and think twice before you decide to insult EL JEFE.

If you can fill this cup with your dignity, I will give you five dollars!

Yesterday I went to see the Black Crowes at Sleep Train Amphitheater with my friend Joel. We had lawn seats an enjoyed the show tremendously. I am not huge into jam bands, but apparently the Black Crowes have morphed into a very good one.
Sitting in the lawn seats exposes you to a lot of different people.
Teenage girls who want older guys to check them out. Older girls drinking 2 foot margaritas who leave their fat friend to watch the blanket, while they troll for crank. A guy who makes the move to help them by taking their picture, but doesn't bother to go hit on them, and goes to sit alone with his dick in hand. Don't forget the guy whose life achievement is a full back tattoo and doesn't wear a shirt, no matter how cold it gets.
I do want to thank the lady who waved her blanket during heavy jams, she was having fun. But more importantly, the drunk guy with the young girl who came up to me and asked if I would like to see her breasts for $7 dollars so they could get a beer.
I am 36. I have seen plenty of breasts for free. I also will not be seen in public handing over money for a girl to show her boobs. Further I refuse to enter into any transaction with a drunken shirtless guy. The issue of $5 came up and he said OK. So I could see them and they still wouldn't have a beer. So I say to you .....
If you can fill this cup with your dignity, I will give you five dollars.
That cup will always be empty.

Found cool stuff!

Here's a link I found on the Gomez blog.
http://interact10ways.com/usa/information_interactive.htm
Be careful, it may draw you in for more time than you wish.

Quit My Job and Went to Zurich

My boss is an asshole so I quit my job! I thought it would be a great time for a clean break.