Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Prepare to feel guarded
There is not much a security guard can really do. Well, you aren't supposed to do much. Be polite, be firm, and keep your eyes open. You can't search people, except for weapons. You can't arrest people, any more that a regular person does. IF you do, you must turn them over to the cops and they decide what to do. They may let them go.
What really goes on when you are working, you are supposed to watch for trouble and take notes and names if necessary.
It is pretty much what we were already doing. Except, some guys think you are supposed to be flirting or just sitting on your ass and talking to your friends. You know who you are.
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Thanksgiving Activites
- Drink a case of beer, by myself at a party in Chrissy Smathers' basement. Other people also drank their own case of beer.
- Crawl out of bed, down the stairs, and to the television to watch Barry Sanders and the Lions play football. In spite of the worst hangover I ever had to date.
- Play wiffle ball in a small front yard and try not to trip on the curb while attempting to catch a fly ball and hold a beer.
- Have a Trivial Pursuit tournament with a bunch of friends. See who knows the most and who is all talk.
- Eat too many Hors D'oeuvre's and not have enough room for dinner. Then spend the whole next day being hungry and thinking only about the food you didn't eat, which was awesome.
- Pondering whether or not it is appropriate to try to get laid on a holiday. Am I that type of person? Really? Can't I just live in the moment once in a while?
- Play football, then watch football, then watch more football, then eat and watch more football.
- Eat Thanksgiving leftovers and watch football the next day.
- Teach and get your friends hooked on Guitar Hero, even after they have all seen the South Park episode making fun of it.
- Sing and play actual guitars around a campfire. It is fun to try and match the words people know with the songs they can actually play.
- Drive from Rochester to Detroit through Canada. Just to make sure it is cold enough.
- Eat with 25 of your closest Sicilian-American relatives. This included all the traditional foods as well as Calamari, Pizza, Pasta, and baklava.
- Watch a car flip into a ditch while driving back from Detroit through Canada. The road was icy.
- Sit around in your Bachelor pad being hungry and watching the damned Lions play like crap. Only the hungry part is my fault.
- Laundry. No one else in your building is doing theirs that day. Except that weird neighbor lady whose only friend is her mom who lives in a home. She also yells at the TV. "Baloney, aww bullshit." Which gives you uncomfortable prescience about your future, if you stay single forever as well.
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Fake answers and Druids
Question:
Why am I getting "shocked" from EVRYTHING I touch??
My Answer:
You have a high ratio of Midi-chlorians in your blood. You could be the chosen one. You need to learn to control the force before it is too late. Contact your nearest Jedi Council member as soon as possible.
Maybe I shouldn't have watched the first 3 Star Wars, meaning the most recent 3 Star Wars last week. But there you go.
Also, here's a great druid/wiccan/coven myspace page. Don't these geeks realize that they were the dorks of those centuries and reviving a dead pagan religion in an even dorkier, modern way, just proves what dorks they are. IT is a free country. BE as dorky as you want. Just expect some people to want to kick your ass. At least today it is just a butt kicking. In the Dark Ages, it would have been extermination.
Listen to the music, it totally sucks, mainly because we have electricity now. Try not to laugh when you do. Really, try not to laugh, I bet you can't. Unless you have a high count of Midi-chlorians in your blood.
Friday, November 09, 2007
The only rapper I like has Trojan written on the outside.
I did some open mic comedy last evening. My friend Sara and Scott, the club owner thought it went well. I went first so the audience wasn't warmed up yet.
I wish I knew how to post audio, so I will in the future, cause I can learn stuff. But for this post, I will just type in some joke I used. Well, cut and paste them, because retyping them is such a pain.
Does it seem premature for the History channel to have a special about Nostradamus?.
Does anyone else think Mick Jagger is a liar for still singing Satisfaction? I mean, if there is anybody on this Earth who is satisfied, it is Mick 'I get it all I want anytime' Jagger. If he is still unsatisfied, he’d better become a Buddhist.
Are you automatically an asshole if you drive a monster truck sporting a handicapped license plate?
Are you guys good listeners? Cause my last girlfriend said I wasn’t a good listener. Well, she left a note. So, I went and bought an audio book about how to be a better listener. She left anyway. Too bad the tape worked, now I can really tune in to the sound of myself crying.
I even got my first cell phone for that woman. I love it, it’s a real time saver. I don’t have to wait until I get home to find out she’s not trying to call me.
Losing your girlfriend really kills your confidence. To get over it, I wrote some jokes about confidence, but I don’t think you’ll like any of them.
Part of confidence is caring about what people think about you. Some people don’t care what other people think about them, I call those people stoners.
Those are just a few. More to come.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Been Away
I am at my sisters computer.
I am looking for a new job.
This is only fun if you are meeting people.
I hope to make money soon.
I am getting bored.
I haven't my own place or Internet.
I will blog more from now on.
It won't be about Europe as much.
It won't be all about my job search.
It will be a little of both.
I hope to get some dating in here as well.
I have missed you.
Did you miss me?
Oh, I do have one job.
I host Live Band Karaoke on Tuesday evenings.
I will see you there.
Jefe
Tuesday, March 27, 2007
Reichstag Dome
This architectural wonder sits atop the German parliament called the Reichstag. If you want a history lesson, go to Wikipedia or pay for a tour like I did. I waited maybe an hour to get in the place. Security is rigid. You can look down on to the parliament while they are pretending to work. You can also walk up the spiral staircase to the top. You can also walk outside the dome on the roof. What I would give to be able to do that in DC or Sactown. Every time I compare Europe with the States, Europe seems to win. Do I think the US needs to change? In a lot of ways, yes. Do I wish we changed our security? No. We could use more choice as far as individuals wanting to run their businesses their way I am not going to denigrate our wonderful land because we over employ tons of busybodies. Europe has their share. I wonder what language they will all decide to speak? Esperanto? Latin?
I wonder what made the Germans put this dome on the old Reichstag? I guess it symbolizes the Reunification, I can't imagine how, but it must in some way. Maybe you know.
Monday, March 26, 2007
Today's Europe Picture
This is a live music venue in Amsterdam called Paradiso. It is located at Weteringschans 6-8. I saw Ben Ottewell play here. He is in Gomez. I was late for the show because I was having dinner with friends. I wish I wasn't late. I got in for free because I was late. I still saw at least half of his performance. I recorded it on my iRiver. It sounds OK. You can have a copy if you ask nice enough. You should see a concert here if you go to Amsterdam. Don't spend all of your time drinking Heineken, smoking the weed, and drooling over hookers. The town has so much more to offer. However if you are lonely, those other things sound real good.
I just watched The Departed
Who was that chick in the movie?
Why was there only one?
There are a lot of good films, of course. But you have to find some way to fit babes into your film. 300 did it. The film was covered in shirtless Spartan soldiers. Not all that cool. The payoff was that the queen also got shirtless . She is a hottie. So was the girl from Departed. Let me give you their names.
Lena Heady played Queen Gorgo in 300
Vera Farmiga played Madolyn in The Departed.
They were both born in 1973, which means they are both the perfect age for me to date. How lucky I am.
Saturday, March 24, 2007
One Bridge
These are two views of the same train station in East Berlin. I still call it that. I don't remember people trying not to call the East side of Berlin East Berlin. It isn't the official name any longer, but it was for a long time. And the two sides are still very distinct.
If you like blight, try east Berlin. I assume the rents are lower. My bed at the hostel was much cheaper than when I stayed on the West Side.
In the States, the East side of town is usually the better, or more expensive side of town. Scottsdale is on the east side of Phoenix. Fairport is on the east side of Rochester. I guess that goes to show how much Communism can really screw up the natural order of things.
The reason I took these pictures is I think the station is so remarkable. I didn't expect to see something like it on this side of town. Nothing else surely was up to par with this urban structure. Brick is never really given its due. Or maybe it isn't power washed so it can look it's best.
The only yellow train in Berlin also stopped at this station.
I am not engaging in any sort of brickophilia. I think I liked seeing the contrast. My time in Berlin was split between the either side of town. Where was there more fun to be had? The east side. What was cleaner and safer looking? The west side. Why do you care? Maybe you do not.
I don't know when this structure was built. Before or after the fall of the Wall. It would matter if I were a historian. (Then you would all see what I could do.) I don't know anything other than I like the way this looks.
It shows that you never know what you are going to get. When I got off the the train at Warshauser Strasse, I had never been so underwhelmed by a first look at a part of town in my whole life. West Berlin looked like a place I wouldn't mind spending time. It wasn't. East Berlin looked like a place that had nothing much to offer. It wasn't.
That is one reason why I like to amble when I travel. Agendas and plans are for politicians and businessmen. I am looking around to see what will surprise me next.
Friday, March 23, 2007
On the Dark Side
This is the Reeperbahn. Stay away from this place when in Hamburg. I took these photos on the bus tour. I made the mistake of going to look for a normal bar for just a drink. Never happened. What did happen was 100 hookers tried to convince me to pay them for sexual favors and 25 barkers tried to get me into their strip clubs. It didn't happen. It was annoying. This was my first night in town and I didn't know where to go. I swear. I bet there was some guy in town dying to find strippers and all he could find was a regular bar.
I didn't eat at the Pizza Hut. I didn't stay in Hamburg very long.
Click on the lower photo, you can see the street sign that says Reeperbahn.
First podcast about Europe is up!
I took this photo in Hannover, Germany. These are big balls.
I quit my job, closed my apartment, and took off to Europe and parts unknown with languages I cannot even begin to understand. I did it. So could you. Give life a try!
This latest Seano and Jefe Show is up! Seano asks me what I can remember about my trip.
Not a full boring travel log, but Seano questions me about things that I wrote in this blog that caught his interest.
It is my return to the states!
My return to podcasting!
Your return to the Seano and Jefe Show!
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Jagermeister
This is the Jagermeister Headquarters. They make all of the pertinent decisions about how to produce Jagermeister. This is probably one of the most important places in the world. Many people rely on their product, pardon me, nectar, soma, no, plasma, that's the word, for their good times. Since you are reading my blog, you know what I mean. Others who need the importance explained to them, email me, I will hold your hand so you understand why the HUNTERMASTER is the premiere beverage in the land.
A few facts for you not in the know. (These may have been in an earlier post)
- They only make Jager now. OK they make one other liquor. I am not telling the name and it only constitutes about .01% of the company's production. The other 99.99% is Jager.
- They don't make alcohol. True fact. The fine folks at Jagermeister only flavor a combination of ethanol and water to create this liquid manna.
- This black gold is aged. Jager is aged as are fine wines and whiskeys. The factory even employs coopers to make sure the casks are properly maintained. These casks are as big a a bedroom.
- The employees there never complain. They get to drink Jager on their coffee breaks. I saw them. They also have a private chef when they are working. Professionals are provided on Fridays for anyone who wants oral sex. I am assuming the last one, bit I feel it is a logical conclusion.
- There is no deer blood in Jagermeister. However, they are rather protective over their secret ingredient. They wished to change the label for sale in the U.S. The FDA(Federal Dickhead Authority) said they must divulge all ingredients in order to do so. "Hey why don't we give away our secret so our business can be ruined and out town can go broke. Great idea!" Stay tuned for another installment of 'Stupid Things Which Bureaucracies Expect People to Comply.' Don't expect to see a different Jager label in the States ever.
- You can't buy their stock. Jagermeister is a privately held company. They have 3 primary shareholders. They don't work for the company directly. If they are smart, they never will. The people they pay will always have the incentive of needing money more than the.
- The tour was free and they give you stuff. I received a small bottle of Jager, a Jager bag, pen, hat, and key chain. All will be used in loving memory.
This is how you should always serve Jagermeister. It is easy to remember. The label tells you Serve Cold-Keep On Ice. One commandment isn't hard to follow. In this case, the Jager was kept in a freezer and served in a glass from the freezer. More than OK. As long as it is cold. If it is not cold, employ other tactics.
The quickest way to chill Jagermeister is an ice bath.
- Fill a basin with water and ice.
- Deposit bottle of Jager.
- 30 minutes later, you gots cold Jager
- Enjoy responsibly.
- Forget number 4
- Mix with Red Bull for girls.
- Mix with anything else over ice, if you don't want shots.
- Just drink Jager.
Wednesday, March 21, 2007
The Station
Monday, March 19, 2007
Bikes
The Dutch love their bicycles.
The first photo is the bike parking area near the Tilburg main station. I didn't see this many people while I was there. yet here are there bikes. I think they have extras just in case. It may be a crime in the Netherlands to go without one.
They are a tall and healthy people. They have a small country. Where would they put them all if these bikes were cars? They wouldn't need to drop them off at the train station. Maybe they have cars but don't drive them because they have no where to leave them when they take the train? We don't bother with that here in the states, we just don't take the train.
The second photo is plainly a stoplight. The interesting part is that it has separate signals for bikes and cars, something I hadn't seen prior to this trip to Amsterdam. I am not even sure that this light is even meant for cars at all. Reinforcing my belief that the Dutch are obsessed with bikes.
Travel tip: Don't you dare get caught walking in the bike lane. You will be hit or harassed. My discovery of this was in Tilburg. I was wandering about the main commercial/entertainment area of town. The bike lane is not in the road like in the U.S. or many other cities in Europe. While trying to find my way around the place, I heard a ringing from behind me. I was non-verbally being told to get the hell out of the way. I am glad I learned this in a smaller town than Amsterdam.
Popular chatter tells us that we will all be safer without these cars we hold so dear. I am far from believing that to be true.
I am no pro-auto lobbyist. I really don't like driving, but it isn't a bad necessity.
I ride my bike for exercise far from busy streets.
I am not sure I want to move to a European style of public transport. Riding ones bike in the rain holds no appeal.
More damage is done by a bus or a tram a lot than by a car. Cars stop faster.
Of course, one can spend a lot of money very quickly on gasoline.
One more of life's trade-offs we need contemplate.
At no time in writing this piece about the Dutch did I obviously rhyme bikes with the word that describes a wall built to protect human occupied lands from encroaching bodies of water.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Beer Bottles
Beer is probably the most important contribution the Europeans have made to the world.
I defy anyone to one up me there.
Don't try you can't.
Heineken was hardly the best beer I had over there. It wasn't even the best tour I went on. Although, it was the tour that involved the most beer. I didn't try to take any tours of any other breweries. Thinking about that now, what a huge mistake!
When I spent day after day in Berlin, not knowing what to do, did it cross my mind to go see a brewery? No!
Make that a lesson to yourselves people. But then again, you can't do it all. I guess going to as many breweries as museums can get just as mundane. But the Heineken Experience didn't even show them actually making beer. It was mainly a marketing ploy that you paid to see. How's that for reverse psychology?
Not that there weren't good things to see there. Like all of theses beer bottles. they are really hooked on the color green. These are two of my favorite pictures from the tour.
1. They do not include any examples of Heineken trying to sell me beer after I have already paid to be in, well near the factory.
2. Any overabundance of any consumer product concentrated in one place is always good for pop art. Thanks Warhol.
3. It reminds me, that I was in that place by myself and no one came over and said hello or tried to drink with me. You selfish fucks. If someone is alone, it can only be obvious that they are alone. Thanks for nothing. Now I know why so few people have chosen to travel alone like I did. I had to ask a tour worker to take that first photo.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Back in the States
One thing you want to do after travelling for two months straight is nothing.
I did go to Vienna and did a quick tour of the city. It was a nice clean place. People were pleasant enough just like they were in all other places I went. The city is impressive as was the Schonbrunn Palace.
That palace showcased the opulence of the Hapsburgs, the last royal family of Austria-Hungary. The Austrians claim them still, the Hungarians do not. Few conquered peoples celebrate their former foreign heads of state, no matter how illustrious.
I want to compare the Swiss and the Austrians. I am not qualified. They may have their similarities, but I haven't been exposed to enough Austrians to be accurate. I may harbor a little bitterness towards the former.
But what can one do? Love dies and grows again. Most experiences need to be seen as a positive sooner or later. If you choose to do the opposite, life will be one bitter pill taken over and over, soon with less frequency because you aren't trying at all anymore.
I am glad I tried without worrying too much about whether or not success was guaranteed. I am a better person for doing so. I have seen more of the world than I ever thought I would, but maybe not as much as I want.
One thing I feel after every break up is that I wanted to do more. This could have been said easily about other women I have dated as about Nina. It was just more true about Nina. Yeah, it wasn't meant to be. That is also something you get sick of telling yourself. Try not believing that something isn't wrong. That is something that you just don't think about for long.
Enough of that. On to something else.
More blogs coming with photos from the trip.
Currently listening :
The Boatman's Call
By Nick Cave & the Bad Seeds
Release date: By 04 March, 1997
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Still in Beograd
Current mood: Grade A prime cut meated
Well, I haven't been able to leave.
I had wanted to spend 2 or 3 days in Vienna, that ain't gonna happen. I know people here and it is more interesting than another museum or gothic church. I assume they have them in Austria. In Belgrade they are Eastern Orthodox and the churches have a different style. they aren't as nice but stilll good in a different way.
I have been all over Central Belgrade this week. the city park is an old castle called Kalamegdon. There are vendors during the day and people relaxing. It is a bit of history and open space. You could have a picnic, walk your dog, or kiss your sweetie. there are also the old structures and some old tanks and cannons from 20th century wars.
One important thing to remember is that this city was bombed by NATO 11 years ago. There are still holes in many buildings right around my hotel. These are all guarded by Serbia military, no matter how cold. I have not gotten in too much trouble for being American for that. These people have more ire for Clinton than Bush, as opposed to the rest of Europe.
I haven't had too many political discussions on my trip. I did have one with a woman named Melitzza. She has a Masters in Sociology and she is Montenegran. Guess if we had different opinions.
She is also having a rough time because Montenegro split from Serbia and she has been living here for 15 years and wants to live here but still keep her original citizenship. On top of that, 11 professors here were arrested for selling diplomas which is putting her credentials under scrutiny. Does anyone else think America is over regulated?
We got along, mainly because I kept my mouth shut and listened. She was also hot and also had a boyfriend. A great guy, he played drums in the Black Sabbath cover band.
Mike and I have been walking the town, seeing some of his friends, and sampling the local food and brew. Both are very good. Let me make this clear, you cannot walk 5 minutes in this city without seeing a totally smoking hot sexy fine young woman.
I wish they all could be Califonia Girls.
This may be may last post for a bit as travel and time may prevent more blogging. I have seen all the babes in this cafe already!
Currently listening :
Crucified
By Army of Lovers
Release date: By 09 April, 1992
Sunday, February 25, 2007
Belgrade Blowout
Current mood: Tired and Red
Thursday we stayed out until 4 am. we to a few clubs with these guys Doca and Dan. they are locals and seem to enjoy the drinks we buy quite a lot. but they are a lot of fun and we picked up another friend whose name escapes me at the time. we knew Doca (pronounced Dote za who we now call Doatzer) was seeing how close he could walk next to speeding cars as we crossed busy streets. we went to a student center and saw a really good Black Sabbath tribute band. Me and Mike beat those guys at Foosball. and we hate soccer. The clubs here are cool cause they are probably in an old basement.
Friday we stayed out until noon. We went to Academia again. Dan is a Bartender there. When get to the bar, he pours us two beers, two shots, and lights up a joint. That has not happened to me anywhere before. Anyone else think America is over regulated?
Mike and I met these girls at the student center earlier that day. They said they were going to the KZT, another student center. I am pretty sure they couldn't drink in bars in the US. Anyone else think America is over regulated? And she said I was old enough to be her dad. She didn't get the 'whose your daddy?' aspect, but her English is good as she teaches it. They were Jelena and Anastasia. Anastasia is Greek as well as Serbian. And they have great tits. In case anyone is curious. I haven't seen them out of a sweater, but .....
We had fun at that club. The DJ played Sepultura's Rhattamahatta so we went and danced. Something I hadn't done before either. I went to a dance club and heard no Rap music. something I blah blah
Jelena introduced us to this guy named Ivan, born in Serbia, grew up in Canada Toronto area, and is back here. A real happy fellow, especially happy to meet someone he has some things in common. He says he is treated a bit like an outsider since he grew up outside Serbia.
People here seem to have a camaraderie I don't see back in the states.
That place closed at 4am I think. we walked around in the cold looking for places to go and picking up new folks along the way.
There was another Mike or Majk. He threw Molotov cocktails at the US Embassy.
Some long haired guy who was with Mike McArdles friend Juliana.
Some chick named Dragona who never showed me her tits, although I did get to kiss her.
Some girl with a pierced tongue, nose, and lip who doesn't think she has a soul.
this guy with a yellow bike named Nened. He saw our crew going into this bar at 7am and decided to come in as opposed to going to work. Not a lot of people have bikes here.
We wandered, bought beer, drank in the street, and went to this bar where there were 50 year old Serbs drinking at the same time. I am sure they just woke up though.
By 11 am it was just me, Nened, Dragona, and the pierced chick. I bought breakfast and Nened was a gentleman and walked me home. I knew the way. I think he was being polite cause I bought beer and cigarettes.
I slept till 8pm. There was NHL on the TV, unlike in the states.
At 10 pm on Saturday, Juliana and Mike came by the Hotel to get me and we went to the Student center again to see the Serbian hardcore band Atheist Rap. I will let you guess how good Serbian hardcore is. The crowd loved it. they knew all the words.
We left there at 2:30am and got some pizza. this place is always open and busy. And surrounded by hot women. I will go there again. They also put ketchup on pizza. Gross. But the women are hot.
And that is it so far. I know I have forgotten parts.
.
Currently listening :
Ratamahatta
By Sepultura
Release date: By 21 November, 1996
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Miles and miles
Current mood: Belgraded!
So today I am in belgrade serbia.
I wandered for blocks until I picked a hotel.
It is just what you would expect, nothing special.
I am here checking my email and thank god Mike McArdle got online. he is an old friend and the only reason I came to this place.
Travelling alone has been rough. i never knew how much I wanted or needed companionship.
It is a great test andI think I am passing, except when I get to a new city, don't speak the language, and feel all alone in the world.
I am not looking for sympathy, I just think that is the way it goes when you do something like this.
As you may know, I am not the most outgoing person from the start.
I am learning about how I feel about people.
They are generally a friendly bunch. That is usually because I am buying something from them. Here's to the free market!
Like all places, you only make friends with people you have a need for or there's a common link. That doesn't happen in a day.
To all of you, I am glad I needed you or we share something in common.
Italy has the best looking women so far. Florence and Venice and Pisa are just as beautiful as I had heard. Trieste is not as great, but has a super view of the Adriatic Sea.
I need to call my friend, I need the company.
Currently listening :
All by Myself
By Eric Carmen
Release date: By 15 December, 1999
