Hating on Scientology

Current mood: rejuvenated

Some cyber warriors have just declared war on the Church of Scientology. I am not sure why the felt that this was necessary. I do wonder about a few things.

Anonymous war. What is the point of declaring war against someone who doesn't know who you are? They can't strike you back, so how do you declare a victory? You can't even do that. Who is going to celebrate your victory? There will not be parade for nobody.

Where do the P.O.W.'s go? Travolta Bay detention facility? Do Scientologists get specially prepared meals? Do they have to watch big budget Hollywood films as punishment or recreation?

How do you start a war with an Internet video? I could post a bunch of them for things I don't like. Jefe, when are you going to make a move? That is just it, they don't know, they will have to wait and worry for that fateful day.

Dakota Fanning. Let's do this!


Here's the Declaration. I still think W. made a better case for Iraq.

Good advice

I saw a new episode of Entourage today. Part of the story is Drama getting a cannabis club card and getting the strongest weed in the place. He and Turtle end up going to a party and they play strip or smoke, a card game where the loser either strips or smokes. The group shouts "strip or smoke" at you until you make up your mind. Drama smokes too much weed and starts to cough and get thirsty and freak out. He cries out for water and proceeds to freak out. The group chants "Bug out" at him and he looks to Turtle for advice. Turtle looks at him and says "roll with it." Drama screams, "I'm buggin' out" and goes on with the party. Parties and fun and work is a challenge, at least they should be. Roll with it.


I found another website that gets people to do stupid things in public for a bit of attention. There is a bit of that in all of us. Check out the girl who gets peanut butter licked off her by dogs in public at a dog park. Apparently she is getting back at her boyfriend or something. I don't know what thought process gets you to that point, to each their own.


For all you cat people, here's a website that you may have visited already. If not, it is called stuffonmycat.com and they post new pictures each day of cats who are decorated in an innovative fashion. I can't tell if the cats mind or not, can you.

A Crab Nebula it isn't!

We all have our mishaps. Things don't always go perfectly. Sometimes you have good intentions. At certain times of the year you spend your Sunday nights going to Holiday parties in the rain. Once in a while you go to a friends house for the first time, because the bar closed and you don't want to go home yet. Even in California, it's raining out. Every so often, you walk in a front door and the cat gets out. Then it occurs to you that a cat shouldn't be running out the front door, if that was alright it might not run. Reacting instinctively, your foot hit the top of that first wet step. Before you know it, you land on that second wet step right on your upper left gluteus maximus. That is what you see here. As bad as this looks, I got off easy. Nothing broken and no head damage. It is great when your butt works, especially when your head isn't.


If you look closely at this flyer you will see my nickname, Jefe, on it. I got actual billing credit. It doesn't really seem like a big deal, but it does give me some pride. I hosted the evening. This included, telling jokes, keeping the show going, announcing bands, and typical hosting duties. I was great. I especially liked the bands that played. A good time was had by all. Especially the musicians who were getting high in our Greene room and set off the fire alarm. 'Nuf Respect.


Oh yeah, for all you Batman fans who haven't seen the new trailer. Click on the link to see the YouTube .

Am I the only one who does this?

So, I work nights. I have all day to sit around and sometimes I do. I will either surf the net, watch a movie, play a game, or blog.

Sometimes I will just sit near the TV and flip channel after channel while doing not much else.

When I finally find something that I want to watch, then I start to clean my apartment or cook a meal.

I sit through a couple hours of crap and then start to take care of stuff when a good show is on the tube.

Why do I need to make sure the TV situation is fine before I can start doing anything else?
I know why I went without it for so long.


Another thing about TV, if you do something dumb enough you will get on it. You can do something really smart as well, but that takes a lot of effort most people can't or won't put forth.

You have to read this!

I love searching the Internet and finding new examples of peoples' stupidity.

Check this out:

A SCARY WAY TO BREAK UP!!!!! DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!!!!!!!! One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, "I am breaking up with you, you awful .......!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your .............. life! DUMB ....................!!!" He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder. Later that week, Sarah's ex-boyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said "Goodbye Jason." She cut his throat before he could scream. If you do not repost this with the title "1 scary way to break up", you are a heartless ..............and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died close.

So you had better get out there and repost it. Or else I may be hearing about your murder on TV. HaHaHaHa!


Really. This is what some people waste their time doing. I waste a lot of time. But this, where is the payoff? "I think I scared some 14 year olds who have computers!"

I especially love the blackmail aspect of these kinds of chain mails. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died. Oh no, I had better be diligent in my efforts to get this around in case the spirit's bureaucracy is up to snuff.

Blackmail is never nice. I have friends and family members who send me emails which demand that I pass them on, or conversely, I will not love America, Jesus, sick people, them, puppies, dolphins, God, hamburgers or any numbers of good things in the world.

So please never pass on a chain mail unless you are doing it for a good reason, like gathering support for securing our borders. You will be hearing from me soon.

Jefe

Who Loves Animals?

You would think that a group of people who claim to love animals would actually love animals. Here's the big surprise, sometimes people go crazy over some cause for their own self-aggrandizement. PETA really loves themselves and rubbing other peoples' noses in their shit because they wear fur or eat meat. Call the Museum of Natural History and strip the cavemen of their saber-toothed vestments. I ate processed chicken today. That is especially cruel. Grown in a cage, mangled by machinery, reformed into a disc, and then frozen. I fried it in oil just to get all the pain I could from it.

Did you know that not only is there a book and movie called The Devil Wears Prada, but also a band by the same name? Wow, what a coincidence. I haven't yet realized which came first. I mean, the book generated the movie. I don't think a bunch of teen metal heads would come up with this name on their own. But why would a bunch of teen agers name themselves after an Anne Hathaway movie? I don't get it. None of their songs are relating to the movie at all. There is no mention of Meryl Streep, fashion, Paris, Adrien Grenier, what is the deal? Oh yeah, in case you don't link to them, the band is a Christian scream metal band. They aren't bad. Then again, I like that sort of thing. I also admit to enjoying the movie.

Isn't Meryl Streep a funny name? I dare you to look at it for 10 seconds and not laugh. what did her mother say when she was born? "She looks like a Meryl." At least now the rest of us know what one looks like.

What the hell is with Eddie Murphy? When did his career turn into one big fat JOKE? Wait, one BIG fat joke? big FAT joke? Where do I put the emphasis there? I want to say that his career has been about making fat jokes into movies. Not that his career is a joke. Who would go see this movie? Why? Why not just go follow some slobs around Wal-Mart? Same deal.

The wheel keeps turning

On Tuesday nights I host a live band karaoke night at Marilyn's on K street. We started about a year ago. To celebrate this special occasion, our drummer didn't show up. I don't know why. He is a good drummer and I will miss him if he does not come back. The night went well. We did an "Unplugged" style of show. The crowd really seemed to like it. Not our biggest night to date , still very good.
It makes me wonder why a friend would to that to people who count on him these 5 hours every week. Was it anger? If you don't want to be around somebody, you have lots of time to make that known in advance. Just to blow something off like that says "screw you" loud and clear.


Another annoyance

Al Sharptongue and Jesse Jerkson make their media round every time something happens to some black people. Some was called a name, it doesn't need to be the "n" word anymore, just something black rappers use and white people can't. Or someone goes to jail, even when they are guilty, these guys look for some irregularity to pounce on for their own narcissism.
I am amazed that all people don't really see how irrelevant these fellows are. What racism still exist in this country today? Let's look for some. Who are two of the most popular daytime talk personalities? Oprah and Tyra. Who do I see every time I turn on the TV? Beyonce. We're so not racist, no one has ever said, 'Beyonce' what kind of a name is that? Here is one of her commercials. It looks just like every other one.


Movies? Denzel Washington.
Golf? Tiger Woods.
Hoops? Need I go on?
Democratic Presidential nominee? Barack Hussein Obama. You won't see that middle name anywhere on his website. I think he will be the nominee. That way Democrats will actually prove how badly they don't want to fight the war on terror. But I digress.
Since some of our most prominent and successful Americans are people of color, what are our hustlers of color left to do? They harass Kramer, stand up for hoodlums in Louisiana, give Don Imus more attention he doesn't really deserve, and even stand up for pet abusers. If these people deserve attention? There must not be too much real discrimination happening.
When you can't find any injustice, change the definition.

Always late

I often work with other people. They are usually late. This can be annoying as they told you that they would be here at a certain time. But they aren't. People who are normally late for things, I call stoners. This is why you don't normally go into business with friends. While you are losing money, they are listing excuses and calling you a dick because you want to know why this keeps happening. Here are some things I like to say to them.

Where you been? Getting high?

What's with your eyes, are you high?

I'm gonna get a real job, where fewer people show up high.

Maybe you wouldn't succumb to so many conspiracy theories if you weren't high. I used to believe a lot of dumb things when I was stoned. I don't get stoned anymore and I believe less stupid things. Maybe some would disagree. I voted for Bush in 2004. Most people I know would say that was stupid. I wonder what the percent of pot smokers voted for him. My guess would be 15%. Maybe High Times has done a formal survey. Ha ha. Here's the hard news they are covering this month. Willie Nelson, the Stoner Cup, indoor growing and you get the idea.

Unfortunately, stopping getting high doesn't stop me or anybody from doing dumb things. We are all imperfect. I think that is the one challenge humanity has over the rest of the organisms on this planet. You could argue that every other living thing is perfect. They are also less complex, but still perfect. Humans don't and never will enjoy that luxury. We will sometimes be late even when we know it is wrong. Heavy stuff.

So here's a video to take your mind off that situation.

Thoughts Today

I may move to Utah and start trying to recruit Mormons to become Catholics. I can get the Church to sponsor me, I mean they do own the best museum in the world. I've been there, they get a lot of money rolling in from the tours alone. I could get a wine per diem. I could hang out and talk to people about what a great church it is and do God's work. Not real work. Who has got an in with the Church. I could share their women and they can share my wine. It's a win-win.

I hate when you are watching something on TV and they advertise the show or sport you are already watching. Look, I'm already sold. Enough. You're losing me. Which is true. They are. I prefer to watch movies.

It's December 7th. 2007. The 66th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Imperial Japanese and the United States entry into World War 2. Let's get drunk on kamikaze shots and drive our Honda Accords home.

You used to be cool

You used to be cool.
What happened to you?
We used to stay out late.
You would drive drunk and get away with it.
You were single and had many chicks,
not just one you took to see shitty movies.
None of your shirts had collars.
Everybody knew you,
but no one knew you.
Bartenders and blondes wondered why you weren't around.
Your car was fast and bad on gas.
You would rather quit your job
than miss a trip to Vegas or Burningman
No used to be on backwards
Yes was your first instinct

You used to be cool.....

Wow, bad Television

There's a show advertised everyday during The Simpsons. It is called According to Jim starring Jim Belushi. How come the less talented ones always survive? Does anybody watch this show? No one has ever mentioned that they saw a great episode to me at my water cooler. Well if they did, I would have a good reason to laugh in their face. I believe this show is probably less funny than Everybody Loves Raymond. Which I also don't watch because when I have it makes me want to punch some one in the cast.

Anyway, I did a search on Youtube for According to Jim and I found this video. Which I believe is how most people feel about the show.

You’re supposed to blog every day?

Well, I don't blog everyday. I think I will try from now on to do just that. It was easy when I was in Europe and something new crossed my path.

Here are two things I thought about today.

Karma.
I am not sure that anybody knows what this word means. Lots of people think you have to do something good to have good karma. I would point out that this is more of a Christian concept in our society as opposed to a Buddhist one. Many people act like Christian but are afraid to stigmatize themselves as such, especially here in California. Neither religion is practiced by the people who like to throw this word around. Practicing a religion does mean that you actually go to their house of worship or perform a rite. Back to Karma.

I don't think it will improve my Karma if I give you a tip for charging me for coffee that I pour myself. I also won't tip you for doing a regular job like making me a sandwich or heating up a slice of pizza.
I may sometimes if I go there often, but it feels a bit like a hassle to see a tip cup, when not much is really being done to earn a tip. Seeing a tip cup where no tip is justified may actually deter me from going to a place.
Bartenders and servers have a greater measure of responsibility that a barrista or a cashier, that is why they are tipped professions.
I think tipping a cashier will get you bad Karma for being a dumbass.

Here are some definitions of Karma:

1. Hinduism & Buddhism. The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.
2. Fate; destiny.
3. Informal. A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.

I wonder if my fate will change for not giving fifty cents to the sub shop cashier??

Next topic:Job search tips

I got these in my email today. They are the Seven Deadly Interview Sins. When I read them, I didn't know how people could not already have these figured out. They are basic. Let's consider each one.

Showing up late. This doesn't work when you have the job. I tried this once after I stayed late at work the day before. I got yelled at by my boss. I never worked late again.

Inappropriately dressed. After living in California so long after growing up in New York, I can't tell what this means anymore. These people dress like they are going to Target everywhere they go. Unless you are 25 and going to the club, then you need a striped shirt and some hair gel.

Lying. Employers don't respect liars? Well, I'll be damned. You can only lie to them after they hire you. Then, be the first one to lie to them so they are more likely to believe you.

Bringing your parent to the interview. Mommy, tell that man to give me a job. They also don't take notes from them when you are sick. You gots to go to a "office" doctor.

Not knowing your own 'History'. I thought most places were looking for a tabula rasa so they could mold you according to their mission statement. I guess I am wrong.

Cellphone/pager beeping buzzing. What if I get a better offer while I am in the interview? You have to keep your options open all times. I do, That is why I have time to write this blog right now. I got work in a bar and wear crazy pants, my options are open. Anyways, my phone is my office, I am in their office, they have a phone that might ring. It is only fair.

Not asking questions. I think I am finished here.

Prepare to feel guarded

You can all relax now. I have completed the Wackenhut Corporation training program that qualifies me for my Guard Card from the State of California. I am also certified for handcuffing. It was a one day course to pass a 45 question test. I got 44 right the first time, then I had to correct the one I got wrong. It was about what to do when you suspect terrorism. Not much, but a little more than I thought.
There is not much a security guard can really do. Well, you aren't supposed to do much. Be polite, be firm, and keep your eyes open. You can't search people, except for weapons. You can't arrest people, any more that a regular person does. IF you do, you must turn them over to the cops and they decide what to do. They may let them go.
What really goes on when you are working, you are supposed to watch for trouble and take notes and names if necessary.
It is pretty much what we were already doing. Except, some guys think you are supposed to be flirting or just sitting on your ass and talking to your friends. You know who you are.

Thanksgiving Activites

Here are some things I have done at Thanksgiving time. You may or may not have done any of these things with me at some time in the past. I am not making any recommendations or excuses. It is only that Thanksgiving is a special American holiday that gives rise to its own special circumstances. So let's see what I remember.

• Drink a case of beer, by myself at a party in Chrissy Smathers' basement. Other people also drank their own case of beer.
• Crawl out of bed, down the stairs, and to the television to watch Barry Sanders and the Lions play football. In spite of the worst hangover I ever had to date.
• Play wiffle ball in a small front yard and try not to trip on the curb while attempting to catch a fly ball and hold a beer.
• Have a Trivial Pursuit tournament with a bunch of friends. See who knows the most and who is all talk.
• Eat too many Hors D'oeuvre's and not have enough room for dinner. Then spend the whole next day being hungry and thinking only about the food you didn't eat, which was awesome.
  
• Pondering whether or not it is appropriate to try to get laid on a holiday. Am I that type of person? Really? Can't I just live in the moment once in a while?
• Play football, then watch football, then watch more football, then eat and watch more football.
• Eat Thanksgiving leftovers and watch football the next day.
• Teach and get your friends hooked on Guitar Hero, even after they have all seen the South Park episode making fun of it.
• Sing and play actual guitars around a campfire. It is fun to try and match the words people know with the songs they can actually play.
• Drive from Rochester to Detroit through Canada. Just to make sure it is cold enough.
  
• Eat with 25 of your closest Sicilian-American relatives. This included all the traditional foods as well as Calamari, Pizza, Pasta, and baklava.
  
• Watch a car flip into a ditch while driving back from Detroit through Canada. The road was icy.
• Sit around in your Bachelor pad being hungry and watching the damned Lions play like crap. Only the hungry part is my fault.
• Laundry. No one else in your building is doing theirs that day. Except that weird neighbor lady whose only friend is her mom who lives in a home. She also yells at the TV. "Baloney, aww bullshit." Which gives you uncomfortable prescience about your future, if you stay single forever as well.
  

Fake answers and Druids

I saw this question on Yahoo Answers and I had to reply. Check it out sometime. It is great to see what people actually don't know.

Question:

Why am I getting "shocked" from EVRYTHING I touch??

I mean everything! It started around 4pm and hasnt stopped! Whats is this all about?


My Answer:
You have a high ratio of Midi-chlorians in your blood. You could be the chosen one. You need to learn to control the force before it is too late. Contact your nearest Jedi Council member as soon as possible.

Maybe I shouldn't have watched the first 3 Star Wars, meaning the most recent 3 Star Wars last week. But there you go.

Also, here's a great druid/wiccan/coven myspace page. Don't these geeks realize that they were the dorks of those centuries and reviving a dead pagan religion in an even dorkier, modern way, just proves what dorks they are. IT is a free country. BE as dorky as you want. Just expect some people to want to kick your ass. At least today it is just a butt kicking. In the Dark Ages, it would have been extermination.
Listen to the music, it totally sucks, mainly because we have electricity now. Try not to laugh when you do. Really, try not to laugh, I bet you can't. Unless you have a high count of Midi-chlorians in your blood.

The only rapper I like has Trojan written on the outside.

That is a joke I just wrote. I haven't told it to anyone yet. I guess it wasn't totally a joke, more of a one-liner. That is the phrase.
I did some open mic comedy last evening. My friend Sara and Scott, the club owner thought it went well. I went first so the audience wasn't warmed up yet.
I wish I knew how to post audio, so I will in the future, cause I can learn stuff. But for this post, I will just type in some joke I used. Well, cut and paste them, because retyping them is such a pain.

Does it seem premature for the History channel to have a special about Nostradamus?.

Does anyone else think Mick Jagger is a liar for still singing Satisfaction? I mean, if there is anybody on this Earth who is satisfied, it is Mick 'I get it all I want anytime' Jagger. If he is still unsatisfied, he’d better become a Buddhist.

Are you automatically an asshole if you drive a monster truck sporting a handicapped license plate?

Are you guys good listeners? Cause my last girlfriend said I wasn’t a good listener. Well, she left a note. So, I went and bought an audio book about how to be a better listener. She left anyway. Too bad the tape worked, now I can really tune in to the sound of myself crying.

I even got my first cell phone for that woman. I love it, it’s a real time saver. I don’t have to wait until I get home to find out she’s not trying to call me.

Losing your girlfriend really kills your confidence. To get over it, I wrote some jokes about confidence, but I don’t think you’ll like any of them.

Part of confidence is caring about what people think about you. Some people don’t care what other people think about them, I call those people stoners.

Those are just a few. More to come.

Seano Sings

Here's a minute of my boy Seano laying down a little Pearl Jam .

Been Away

I am back in Sacramento.
I am at my sisters computer.
I am looking for a new job.
This is only fun if you are meeting people.
I hope to make money soon.
I am getting bored.
I haven't my own place or Internet.
I will blog more from now on.
It won't be about Europe as much.
It won't be all about my job search.
It will be a little of both.
I hope to get some dating in here as well.
I have missed you.
Did you miss me?
Oh, I do have one job.
I host Live Band Karaoke on Tuesday evenings.
I will see you there.
Jefe

Reichstag Dome

This architectural wonder sits atop the German parliament called the Reichstag. If you want a history lesson, go to Wikipedia or pay for a tour like I did. I waited maybe an hour to get in the place. Security is rigid. You can look down on to the parliament while they are pretending to work. You can also walk up the spiral staircase to the top. You can also walk outside the dome on the roof. What I would give to be able to do that in DC or Sactown. Every time I compare Europe with the States, Europe seems to win. Do I think the US needs to change? In a lot of ways, yes. Do I wish we changed our security? No. We could use more choice as far as individuals wanting to run their businesses their way I am not going to denigrate our wonderful land because we over employ tons of busybodies. Europe has their share. I wonder what language they will all decide to speak? Esperanto? Latin?
I wonder what made the Germans put this dome on the old Reichstag? I guess it symbolizes the Reunification, I can't imagine how, but it must in some way. Maybe you know.

Today's Europe Picture

This is a live music venue in Amsterdam called Paradiso. It is located at Weteringschans 6-8. I saw Ben Ottewell play here. He is in Gomez. I was late for the show because I was having dinner with friends. I wish I wasn't late. I got in for free because I was late. I still saw at least half of his performance. I recorded it on my iRiver. It sounds OK. You can have a copy if you ask nice enough. You should see a concert here if you go to Amsterdam. Don't spend all of your time drinking Heineken, smoking the weed, and drooling over hookers. The town has so much more to offer. However if you are lonely, those other things sound real good.