Good advice

I saw a new episode of Entourage today. Part of the story is Drama getting a cannabis club card and getting the strongest weed in the place. He and Turtle end up going to a party and they play strip or smoke, a card game where the loser either strips or smokes. The group shouts "strip or smoke" at you until you make up your mind. Drama smokes too much weed and starts to cough and get thirsty and freak out. He cries out for water and proceeds to freak out. The group chants "Bug out" at him and he looks to Turtle for advice. Turtle looks at him and says "roll with it." Drama screams, "I'm buggin' out" and goes on with the party. Parties and fun and work is a challenge, at least they should be. Roll with it.


I found another website that gets people to do stupid things in public for a bit of attention. There is a bit of that in all of us. Check out the girl who gets peanut butter licked off her by dogs in public at a dog park. Apparently she is getting back at her boyfriend or something. I don't know what thought process gets you to that point, to each their own.


For all you cat people, here's a website that you may have visited already. If not, it is called stuffonmycat.com and they post new pictures each day of cats who are decorated in an innovative fashion. I can't tell if the cats mind or not, can you.

A Crab Nebula it isn't!

We all have our mishaps. Things don't always go perfectly. Sometimes you have good intentions. At certain times of the year you spend your Sunday nights going to Holiday parties in the rain. Once in a while you go to a friends house for the first time, because the bar closed and you don't want to go home yet. Even in California, it's raining out. Every so often, you walk in a front door and the cat gets out. Then it occurs to you that a cat shouldn't be running out the front door, if that was alright it might not run. Reacting instinctively, your foot hit the top of that first wet step. Before you know it, you land on that second wet step right on your upper left gluteus maximus. That is what you see here. As bad as this looks, I got off easy. Nothing broken and no head damage. It is great when your butt works, especially when your head isn't.


If you look closely at this flyer you will see my nickname, Jefe, on it. I got actual billing credit. It doesn't really seem like a big deal, but it does give me some pride. I hosted the evening. This included, telling jokes, keeping the show going, announcing bands, and typical hosting duties. I was great. I especially liked the bands that played. A good time was had by all. Especially the musicians who were getting high in our Greene room and set off the fire alarm. 'Nuf Respect.


Oh yeah, for all you Batman fans who haven't seen the new trailer. Click on the link to see the YouTube .

Am I the only one who does this?

So, I work nights. I have all day to sit around and sometimes I do. I will either surf the net, watch a movie, play a game, or blog.

Sometimes I will just sit near the TV and flip channel after channel while doing not much else.

When I finally find something that I want to watch, then I start to clean my apartment or cook a meal.

I sit through a couple hours of crap and then start to take care of stuff when a good show is on the tube.

Why do I need to make sure the TV situation is fine before I can start doing anything else?
I know why I went without it for so long.


Another thing about TV, if you do something dumb enough you will get on it. You can do something really smart as well, but that takes a lot of effort most people can't or won't put forth.

You have to read this!

I love searching the Internet and finding new examples of peoples' stupidity.

Check this out:

A SCARY WAY TO BREAK UP!!!!! DO NOT stop reading this or something bad will happen!!!!!!!! One day, Sarah was walking home from school when her boyfriend drove by and honked at her to get in. She got in his car and he drove her to the lake. Her boyfriend said he was going to tell her something very important. Sarah could have sworn he was going to propose. However, he flicked her off, pushed her in the lake and yelled, "I am breaking up with you, you awful .......!! I hate you and I think that maybe you should just end your .............. life! DUMB ....................!!!" He laughed and drove off. It was a very cold day. Sarah climbed out of the lake, freezing cold, and feeling the worst she had in her entire life. She got home went in a hot bath, and slit her wrists and died in the bathtub. Her parents yelled and screamed at her to get out until they finally broke the door down. They saw no body, but the entire bathroom was dripping with her blood. Her mom went insane and killed herself three days later, her dad is in prison, accused of murder. Later that week, Sarah's ex-boyfriend was taking a shower when she came from the drain, rotting and bloody, with a razor in her hand and said "Goodbye Jason." She cut his throat before he could scream. If you do not repost this with the title "1 scary way to break up", you are a heartless ..............and Sarah come to you in the shower from the drain, and will kill you the same way she killed her boyfriend. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died close.

So you had better get out there and repost it. Or else I may be hearing about your murder on TV. HaHaHaHa!


Really. This is what some people waste their time doing. I waste a lot of time. But this, where is the payoff? "I think I scared some 14 year olds who have computers!"

I especially love the blackmail aspect of these kinds of chain mails. 24 ppl have broken this chain and died. Oh no, I had better be diligent in my efforts to get this around in case the spirit's bureaucracy is up to snuff.

Blackmail is never nice. I have friends and family members who send me emails which demand that I pass them on, or conversely, I will not love America, Jesus, sick people, them, puppies, dolphins, God, hamburgers or any numbers of good things in the world.

So please never pass on a chain mail unless you are doing it for a good reason, like gathering support for securing our borders. You will be hearing from me soon.

Jefe

Who Loves Animals?

You would think that a group of people who claim to love animals would actually love animals. Here's the big surprise, sometimes people go crazy over some cause for their own self-aggrandizement. PETA really loves themselves and rubbing other peoples' noses in their shit because they wear fur or eat meat. Call the Museum of Natural History and strip the cavemen of their saber-toothed vestments. I ate processed chicken today. That is especially cruel. Grown in a cage, mangled by machinery, reformed into a disc, and then frozen. I fried it in oil just to get all the pain I could from it.

Did you know that not only is there a book and movie called The Devil Wears Prada, but also a band by the same name? Wow, what a coincidence. I haven't yet realized which came first. I mean, the book generated the movie. I don't think a bunch of teen metal heads would come up with this name on their own. But why would a bunch of teen agers name themselves after an Anne Hathaway movie? I don't get it. None of their songs are relating to the movie at all. There is no mention of Meryl Streep, fashion, Paris, Adrien Grenier, what is the deal? Oh yeah, in case you don't link to them, the band is a Christian scream metal band. They aren't bad. Then again, I like that sort of thing. I also admit to enjoying the movie.

Isn't Meryl Streep a funny name? I dare you to look at it for 10 seconds and not laugh. what did her mother say when she was born? "She looks like a Meryl." At least now the rest of us know what one looks like.

What the hell is with Eddie Murphy? When did his career turn into one big fat JOKE? Wait, one BIG fat joke? big FAT joke? Where do I put the emphasis there? I want to say that his career has been about making fat jokes into movies. Not that his career is a joke. Who would go see this movie? Why? Why not just go follow some slobs around Wal-Mart? Same deal.

The wheel keeps turning

On Tuesday nights I host a live band karaoke night at Marilyn's on K street. We started about a year ago. To celebrate this special occasion, our drummer didn't show up. I don't know why. He is a good drummer and I will miss him if he does not come back. The night went well. We did an "Unplugged" style of show. The crowd really seemed to like it. Not our biggest night to date , still very good.
It makes me wonder why a friend would to that to people who count on him these 5 hours every week. Was it anger? If you don't want to be around somebody, you have lots of time to make that known in advance. Just to blow something off like that says "screw you" loud and clear.


Another annoyance

Al Sharptongue and Jesse Jerkson make their media round every time something happens to some black people. Some was called a name, it doesn't need to be the "n" word anymore, just something black rappers use and white people can't. Or someone goes to jail, even when they are guilty, these guys look for some irregularity to pounce on for their own narcissism.
I am amazed that all people don't really see how irrelevant these fellows are. What racism still exist in this country today? Let's look for some. Who are two of the most popular daytime talk personalities? Oprah and Tyra. Who do I see every time I turn on the TV? Beyonce. We're so not racist, no one has ever said, 'Beyonce' what kind of a name is that? Here is one of her commercials. It looks just like every other one.


Movies? Denzel Washington.
Golf? Tiger Woods.
Hoops? Need I go on?
Democratic Presidential nominee? Barack Hussein Obama. You won't see that middle name anywhere on his website. I think he will be the nominee. That way Democrats will actually prove how badly they don't want to fight the war on terror. But I digress.
Since some of our most prominent and successful Americans are people of color, what are our hustlers of color left to do? They harass Kramer, stand up for hoodlums in Louisiana, give Don Imus more attention he doesn't really deserve, and even stand up for pet abusers. If these people deserve attention? There must not be too much real discrimination happening.
When you can't find any injustice, change the definition.

Always late

I often work with other people. They are usually late. This can be annoying as they told you that they would be here at a certain time. But they aren't. People who are normally late for things, I call stoners. This is why you don't normally go into business with friends. While you are losing money, they are listing excuses and calling you a dick because you want to know why this keeps happening. Here are some things I like to say to them.

Where you been? Getting high?

What's with your eyes, are you high?

I'm gonna get a real job, where fewer people show up high.

Maybe you wouldn't succumb to so many conspiracy theories if you weren't high. I used to believe a lot of dumb things when I was stoned. I don't get stoned anymore and I believe less stupid things. Maybe some would disagree. I voted for Bush in 2004. Most people I know would say that was stupid. I wonder what the percent of pot smokers voted for him. My guess would be 15%. Maybe High Times has done a formal survey. Ha ha. Here's the hard news they are covering this month. Willie Nelson, the Stoner Cup, indoor growing and you get the idea.

Unfortunately, stopping getting high doesn't stop me or anybody from doing dumb things. We are all imperfect. I think that is the one challenge humanity has over the rest of the organisms on this planet. You could argue that every other living thing is perfect. They are also less complex, but still perfect. Humans don't and never will enjoy that luxury. We will sometimes be late even when we know it is wrong. Heavy stuff.

So here's a video to take your mind off that situation.

Thoughts Today

I may move to Utah and start trying to recruit Mormons to become Catholics. I can get the Church to sponsor me, I mean they do own the best museum in the world. I've been there, they get a lot of money rolling in from the tours alone. I could get a wine per diem. I could hang out and talk to people about what a great church it is and do God's work. Not real work. Who has got an in with the Church. I could share their women and they can share my wine. It's a win-win.

I hate when you are watching something on TV and they advertise the show or sport you are already watching. Look, I'm already sold. Enough. You're losing me. Which is true. They are. I prefer to watch movies.

It's December 7th. 2007. The 66th anniversary of the bombing of Pearl Harbor by the Imperial Japanese and the United States entry into World War 2. Let's get drunk on kamikaze shots and drive our Honda Accords home.

You used to be cool

You used to be cool.
What happened to you?
We used to stay out late.
You would drive drunk and get away with it.
You were single and had many chicks,
not just one you took to see shitty movies.
None of your shirts had collars.
Everybody knew you,
but no one knew you.
Bartenders and blondes wondered why you weren't around.
Your car was fast and bad on gas.
You would rather quit your job
than miss a trip to Vegas or Burningman
No used to be on backwards
Yes was your first instinct

You used to be cool.....

Wow, bad Television

There's a show advertised everyday during The Simpsons. It is called According to Jim starring Jim Belushi. How come the less talented ones always survive? Does anybody watch this show? No one has ever mentioned that they saw a great episode to me at my water cooler. Well if they did, I would have a good reason to laugh in their face. I believe this show is probably less funny than Everybody Loves Raymond. Which I also don't watch because when I have it makes me want to punch some one in the cast.

Anyway, I did a search on Youtube for According to Jim and I found this video. Which I believe is how most people feel about the show.

You’re supposed to blog every day?

Well, I don't blog everyday. I think I will try from now on to do just that. It was easy when I was in Europe and something new crossed my path.

Here are two things I thought about today.

Karma.
I am not sure that anybody knows what this word means. Lots of people think you have to do something good to have good karma. I would point out that this is more of a Christian concept in our society as opposed to a Buddhist one. Many people act like Christian but are afraid to stigmatize themselves as such, especially here in California. Neither religion is practiced by the people who like to throw this word around. Practicing a religion does mean that you actually go to their house of worship or perform a rite. Back to Karma.

I don't think it will improve my Karma if I give you a tip for charging me for coffee that I pour myself. I also won't tip you for doing a regular job like making me a sandwich or heating up a slice of pizza.
I may sometimes if I go there often, but it feels a bit like a hassle to see a tip cup, when not much is really being done to earn a tip. Seeing a tip cup where no tip is justified may actually deter me from going to a place.
Bartenders and servers have a greater measure of responsibility that a barrista or a cashier, that is why they are tipped professions.
I think tipping a cashier will get you bad Karma for being a dumbass.

Here are some definitions of Karma:

1. Hinduism & Buddhism. The total effect of a person's actions and conduct during the successive phases of the person's existence, regarded as determining the person's destiny.
2. Fate; destiny.
3. Informal. A distinctive aura, atmosphere, or feeling: There's bad karma around the house today.

I wonder if my fate will change for not giving fifty cents to the sub shop cashier??

Next topic:Job search tips

I got these in my email today. They are the Seven Deadly Interview Sins. When I read them, I didn't know how people could not already have these figured out. They are basic. Let's consider each one.

Showing up late. This doesn't work when you have the job. I tried this once after I stayed late at work the day before. I got yelled at by my boss. I never worked late again.

Inappropriately dressed. After living in California so long after growing up in New York, I can't tell what this means anymore. These people dress like they are going to Target everywhere they go. Unless you are 25 and going to the club, then you need a striped shirt and some hair gel.

Lying. Employers don't respect liars? Well, I'll be damned. You can only lie to them after they hire you. Then, be the first one to lie to them so they are more likely to believe you.

Bringing your parent to the interview. Mommy, tell that man to give me a job. They also don't take notes from them when you are sick. You gots to go to a "office" doctor.

Not knowing your own 'History'. I thought most places were looking for a tabula rasa so they could mold you according to their mission statement. I guess I am wrong.

Cellphone/pager beeping buzzing. What if I get a better offer while I am in the interview? You have to keep your options open all times. I do, That is why I have time to write this blog right now. I got work in a bar and wear crazy pants, my options are open. Anyways, my phone is my office, I am in their office, they have a phone that might ring. It is only fair.

Not asking questions. I think I am finished here.