This is the Jagermeister Headquarters. They make all of the pertinent decisions about how to produce Jagermeister. This is probably one of the most important places in the world. Many people rely on their product, pardon me, nectar, soma, no, plasma, that's the word, for their good times. Since you are reading my blog, you know what I mean. Others who need the importance explained to them, email me, I will hold your hand so you understand why the HUNTERMASTER is the premiere beverage in the land.
A few facts for you not in the know. (These may have been in an earlier post)
- They only make Jager now. OK they make one other liquor. I am not telling the name and it only constitutes about .01% of the company's production. The other 99.99% is Jager.
- They don't make alcohol. True fact. The fine folks at Jagermeister only flavor a combination of ethanol and water to create this liquid manna.
- This black gold is aged. Jager is aged as are fine wines and whiskeys. The factory even employs coopers to make sure the casks are properly maintained. These casks are as big a a bedroom.
- The employees there never complain. They get to drink Jager on their coffee breaks. I saw them. They also have a private chef when they are working. Professionals are provided on Fridays for anyone who wants oral sex. I am assuming the last one, bit I feel it is a logical conclusion.
- There is no deer blood in Jagermeister. However, they are rather protective over their secret ingredient. They wished to change the label for sale in the U.S. The FDA(Federal Dickhead Authority) said they must divulge all ingredients in order to do so. "Hey why don't we give away our secret so our business can be ruined and out town can go broke. Great idea!" Stay tuned for another installment of 'Stupid Things Which Bureaucracies Expect People to Comply.' Don't expect to see a different Jager label in the States ever.
- You can't buy their stock. Jagermeister is a privately held company. They have 3 primary shareholders. They don't work for the company directly. If they are smart, they never will. The people they pay will always have the incentive of needing money more than the.
- The tour was free and they give you stuff. I received a small bottle of Jager, a Jager bag, pen, hat, and key chain. All will be used in loving memory.
This is how you should always serve Jagermeister. It is easy to remember. The label tells you Serve Cold-Keep On Ice. One commandment isn't hard to follow. In this case, the Jager was kept in a freezer and served in a glass from the freezer. More than OK. As long as it is cold. If it is not cold, employ other tactics.
The quickest way to chill Jagermeister is an ice bath.
- Fill a basin with water and ice.
- Deposit bottle of Jager.
- 30 minutes later, you gots cold Jager
- Enjoy responsibly.
- Forget number 4
- Mix with Red Bull for girls.
- Mix with anything else over ice, if you don't want shots.
- Just drink Jager.